Mary Sue Mew
by tenderflowers
Summary: The new Mew's name is Crystal Moonheart, and she's perfect in every way. Too perfect for everyone's good. How can Ichigo and her friends get rid of her?
1. Crystal Moonheart

Before anyone asks, yes I'll still be doing my other story too. It's just that I've been having this other idea that I want to get out first. And I'm planning to make this a short story. Heck, completing a story might boost my confidence and spur me to get chapters out more quickly.

Eh, whatever. Just enjoy this chapter.

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It was your average day in Café Mew Mew. Ichigo was working her butt off. Minto was slacking off and sipping tea. Retasu was dropping china plates. Purin was showing off her latest tricks. And Zakuro was being…well, Zakuro.

The door opened and in shone a bright light. Everyone gasped and hurried to cover their eyes, except the boys. The boys seem to be transfixed at staring into the light.

The light faded away and in its place was a girl who looked about 13. She had gold hair the color of sunshine, with streaks of vivid red and pure silver that fell to her hips. Her skin was a pale tan color that felt like the smoothest silk. Her left eye was as silver as the moon, and her right eye was a deep, bloody red. She was perfect in every way, from her brilliant smile to her slender legs.

"Welcome to Café Mew Mew. Please take a seat." Ichigo prompted the girl. She nodded and sat down in a chair, still smiling. Ichigo handed her a menu, and waited for the girl to take her order. When she decided what she wanted, the girl looked up at her waitress with bright, cheerful eyes.

"I'll take a strawberry cheesecake and some milk tea." She said to Ichigo. Her voice was as beautiful as wind chimes, and as pure as diamonds. Everyone was entranced by it, even Zakuro and Ryou. Ichigo almost didn't catch the girl's order, being too absorbed in listening to her melodious voice. "Yes, I'll get right on it." She muttered and waddled away.

Not long after, the girl's order came, though Retasu was carrying it this time. She didn't even stumble on the way to her, relaxed at the presence of the girl. Retasu set the girl's strawberry cheesecake and milk tea in front of her, humming a happy song. "I'm just wondering, what's your name?" Retasu whispered softly. The girl smiled again and replied, "Crystal Aurora Mistfall Rose Twilight Dewdrop Stardust Moonheart. But everyone calls me Crystal." Retasu nodded dreamily, not minding the extremely long name. "Where do you live?" She asked absent-mindedly. "I used to live in the United States, but I moved here two years ago. I live in a mansion." Crystal answered confidently. "Oh really? Then you might be living near Minto. She lives in a mansion too." Retasu said, continuing the conversation. Crystal laughed suddenly, her laughter ringing like Christmas bells. "I know Minto! She walks her dog in front of my mansion everyday! Sometimes I even meet up with her while walking my silver fox! We chit-chat a lot together." Crystal explained. Retasu was a little shocked at Crystal stating that she had a silver fox. After all, she thought they weren't real. "Silver fox? That's interesting. Can you tell me more about it?" "He." Crystal corrected. "His name is Lunar, and he's the greatest pet in the world! He can talk, fly, and shapeshift! Lunar is also my guardian at birth, so it's natural that he has all sorts of powers."

Retasu talked with Crystal about all sorts of thing. She learned that her mother has died at birth, and her father had disappeared right after they had settled in Tokyo. Crystal now owns her father's successful company, and is managing it better than her father. She isn't lonely most of the time, being the center of attention of the servants and Lunar. But sometimes, Crystal aches for the love of her parents and cries at night. In return for Crystal's interesting past, Retasu told her about her identity as a Mew, along with everyone's aliases. Even though Crystal already figured out that she and the others were already Mews, she was still fascinated by the adventures they had.

"Alright, we're closing this Café now." Ryou announced to everyone. The customers sighed, being reluctant to leave because of Crystal being here. But after her urging for everyone to go, they fled immediately. Retasu stood up and faced Ryou. "Uh, why are we closing the Café early? Is it…. Is it because of another alien attack!" she shrieked. Ryou nodded sadly, and motioned the other Mews to follow him into the basement. Crystal tagged along too, using her skills to not get seen.

After the Mews knew what to do, they transformed and left Café Mew Mew. Crystal managed to follow by summoning Lunar, having him shapeshift into a giant feather, and floating after the Mews on him.

Crystal arrived at the battle scene seconds after the Mews got there. They were fighting a giant centipede Chimera Animal, with Kish fighting along side it. The Mews kept on pounding it with attacks, yet it lived on. The centipede swung its tail towards Minto and Purin, knocking them out efficiently. Then it body slammed Retasu and Zakuro, leaving Ichigo left. Yet she was tiring out too, and was on the verge of fainting. "Ha Koneko-chan! You see how weak the Mews really are? Too bad that you won't join me. It's a shame that I have to kill you." Kish crowed out. Crystal bit her lip in anger. "I won't let you! Mew Crystal Silvermoon Transformation!"

Crystal transformed in a flash of silver light and complex Dance Dance Revolution sequences. She suddenly spurted silver fox ears, two tails, and golden eagle wings. Her outfit looked astonishingly like Ichigo's, except less poofy and colored bright red with golden trimmings. Crystal's hair changed color, from golden with silver and red streaks to silver with gold and red highlights. And her both of her eyes changed into a sparkling gold color too.

"Stupid Kish! For hurting the Mews, I'll make you pay!" Crystal yelled at him. Kish didn't retort back, but instead looked at her with the same gaze that he'd reserved for Ichigo…

"Moon Sword!" Crystal cried out, having a gleaming silver sword adorned with crescents appear in her hand. She held it confidently, and raised it to eye level.

"Crystal Moon Slash!" She shouted while slashing her sword at the giant centipede. It roared in a tortured way and shriveled up into an ordinary bug. Crystal then turned to face Kish, her eyes softening. Kish's eyes became less fierce as well, and floated away. Crystal chased after him, soaring with her new bird wings. Kish could've teleported away, but the new Mew being there was a magnet for his heart. He couldn't escape if he wanted too…

Crystal, meanwhile, was still too far away to strike him with her sword. So by shouting "Silver Arrow!" She transformed her sword into an elegant set of a bow and arrows made out of pure silver. Crystal smiled at her new weapon, and aimed the Silver Arrow at Kish. "I'm sorry." She whispered to her enemy. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Silver Crystal Shot!" Crystal yelled, releasing the attack in a blaze of silver light. It struck Kish squarely in the back, causing him to finally teleport away. Crystal floated down to the ground, where Ichigo was watching the whole scene. Minto, Retasu, Purin, and Zakuro were revived and also watching.

"You did great." Ichigo murmured to Crystal. "Let's get you back to Café Mew Mew."

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Just to let you know, having Crystal being a Mary Sue was intentional. So don't flame me about having a complete Mary Sue in my fanfic. It's supposed to be making fun of all the Mew Mary Sues in the world. And I'll make it funnier in the later chapters. Don't worry.

And I need a disclaimer too.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew. Neither do I own the anime/video game references that appear in this story. (I believe for chapter one, I ripped off InuYasha and Dance Dance Revolution. If there's anymore, it's by complete coincidence. But I'm still interested in hearing them!)**


	2. Humans have flaws, but she doesn't

I'm updating this now… because I'm bored. But that's a good thing isn't it?

Faunamon-I'm not against ALL fox Mews. I'm against Mary Sues. Ok?

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Since Ichigo, Minto, Retasu, Purin, and Zakuro were too tired to get back to Café Mew Mew on their own, Crystal offered them a ride on her silver fox, Lunar. She told him to transform into a big flying fish, since a giant feather couldn't carry the six of them. Lunar did, and everyone got back to the Café in the matter of seconds.

Crystal brought the Mews to the basement, where Ryou was waiting for them. He gave her a skeptical look, while she gave him a beaming smile back. "What are you doing? As I recall, you're not suppose to be here." He told Crystal. She wasn't fazed by Ryou's comment and replied, "I'm the one who fended off the Chimera Animal and Kish when the Mews were losing. My name's Crystal Aurora Mistfall Rose Twilight Dewdrop Stardust Moonheart." Ryou raised his eyebrows again. "Long name." He muttered. Crystal nodded. "Yes. But you can call me Crystal if you want." He shook his head. "Nah. I think Crystie is a cuter name for a girl like you." Crystal blushed a deep rosy pink at Ryou's suggestion.

"Um, Ryou?" Retasu whispered to him. "Could you tell us why Crystal is a Mew? You didn't mention that you infused another girl with two DNA." Ryou snapped out of the trance of Crystal's beauty and glanced at the others Mews. "I-" Crystal interrupted Ryou's explanation with her own. "Ryou didn't infuse me. It's a very rare occasion, but I'm naturally born with powers like a Mew. I also have greater powers than normal Mews because of that." She tried to smile at everyone to make them feel better, but only Ryou was affected by that.

"Ryou, what kind of DNA does Crystal have na no da?" Purin said, curious about the new Mew. Before Ryou could answer again, Crystal butted in and said, "The silver fox and the golden eagle." Purin was fascinated by the fancy-sounding animals, but Minto interjected. "But those two animals aren't endangered." She said. "Remember what Crystie said about being born with the Mew powers? She can still be a Mew without endangered animal genes because of that." Crystal high-fived Ryou for saving her with another explanation. Minto mentally made a gagging face in her mind at Ryou's nickname for Crystal and his enthusiasm with her. "Now if you don't have anymore questions, all of you can clean up Café Mew Mew for tomorrow."

Everyone except Crystal sighed at the prospect of cleaning up the Café. "Wow! It's so exciting! I've never cleaned anything before, cause all the maids at home do the cleaning!" Instead of Minto mentally gagging at Crystal's stupidity, everyone but Zakuro displayed their disgust in front of her, while Zakuro just glared at Crystal. But she was completely oblivious to everyone's hatred towards her, and swept the floor perfectly while singing an irresistibly wonderful melody to herself.

Ichigo snuck a visit to Keiichiro while everyone else was cleaning. "Keiichiro, you heard about Crystal?" She asked him. Keiichiro turned his head around from washing dishes and nodded. "Yes, what about her?" Ichigo glanced backwards to see if Crystal was unaware of what she's talking about and then whispered in Keiichiro's ear. "Does she seem… too perfect to you?" He blinked at the suddenness of Ichigo's question, and nodded slightly. "Well, if she's a human, she has to have some kind of flaw. But it seems she doesn't have one." Keiichiro continued rinsing the dishes while Ichigo poured her laments about Crystal to him. Finally, she ended with a risky suggestion. "Maybe I should spy on her and find out her weakness. Just to see if she really is human. It gives me an uneasy feeling to know that Crystal is a perfect being. Plus…" She dropped her voice so soft that Keiichiro could barely hear. "…I don't want her to replace me as a leader." He nodded and patted Ichigo on the head. "Don't worry. Ryou's not the type of person that'll do such a thing.

At that moment, the door opened again, even if Café Mew Mew was closed. Ichigo know who it was immediately and dropped her broom on the ground. She ran to the entrance of Café Mew Mew and hugged the person in front of it.

It was Masaya of course. Why would Ichigo hug anyone else besides him? He's her frickin' boyfriend!

"Hello Ichigo! How are you?" Masaya asked cheerfully. Ichigo refrained from hugging him to death looked behind to see if anyone was being irritated at Masaya's sudden arrival. No one cared. "I'm good thank you! Here, have a seat and I'll see if Keiichiro can spare some extra cake…" She skipped off merrily, leaving Masaya to face Crystal's charm.

"Hi! I'm Crystal Aurora Mistfall Rose Twilight Dewdrop Stardust Moonheart! What's your name?" Crystal said to Masaya. She bowed politely to show her manners and long silky hair to him. He couldn't help but blush at Crystal. "My name's Masaya Aoyama. Nice name. Mind if I call you Crystie?" She blinked and laughed nervously. "Sure! But Ryou's using that nickname for me too!" Masaya' eyes flash angrily at Ryou using the same name as him. "Ok then, how about Crysta?"

Before Crystal and Masaya could talk more, Ichigo appeared with two plates of cake and almost dropped them at the sight of her boyfriend and her rival. She shooed Crystal away without trying to look rude and set the cake in front of Masaya and her. "Sorry about that. Keiichiro had trouble finding cake good enough to eat." She apologized to him. "Don't worry." Masaya said to Ichigo. "I was just talking to Crysta. She's a nice person, don't you think?"

Ichigo twitched violently at another nickname for Crystal. "Yeah…. She's nice alright…" she muttered. "She would be the perfect friend…" Ichigo look downward at her cake, not wanting to make eye contact with Masaya at the moment. "Uh… Ichigo. You're cat ears are showing." He pointed out. Ichigo crept her hands up to them, and sighed.

Suddenly, the door busted open again and an ant-like Chimera Animal was inside Café Mew Mew. This time, Tart was controlling it, smirking. "This is what you get from hurting Kish! Chimera Animal, attack!"

The Chimera Animal scurried over to where Ichigo was, and spat out deadly acid. Ichigo managed to jump away in time, but Masaya got his leg slathered in acid. He groaned at the pain he was experiencing, and fainted.

This battle is getting clichéd already, but who cares?

Ichigo glared at Tart for hurting Masaya. "You stupid midget! Mew Mew Strawberry Metamorphosis!"

Minto, Retasu, Purin, and Zakuro transformed as well. Crystal shouted "Mew Crystal Lunafox Metamorphosis!" and changed into her Mew form too.

Ichigo stared at Crystal. "I thought your transformation phrase was 'Mew Crystal Silvermoon Metamorphosis'?" Crystal shrugged. "It changes I guess. Moon Sword!" She cried out, summoning her shiny silver sword. "Strawberry Bell!" Ichigo summoned her weapon, shouting in the same manner as Crystal.

Before Ichigo could attack the Chimera Animal however, Crystal immediately yelled "Crystal Moon Slash!" destroying the alien completely. She turned towards Tart to defeat him next, but she hesitated. "I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you. So can you please leave so I don't have to?" Tart floated in mid-air, pondering on Crystal's word. Whether he was influenced by her musical voice or by her reasoning, he agreed to leave. "But I'll come back and ruin that pretty face of yours!" Tart threatened before he teleported away.

Ichigo knelt down beside Masaya, weeping silently. "Sorry Masaya. I'm sorry for letting you get hurt…" While she was mourning at Masaya's injury, Lunar the silver fox, who was sleeping under the table all this time, walked up to Crystal, and whispered something into her ear. Crystal gasped in surprise at his suggestion, and nodded a second later. "It's the best thing I guess…"

She stood up and held out her hand towards Lunar. "Lunar Staff!" she shouted, and the silver fox began glowing white. In a matter of nanoseconds, he transformed into a silver staff decorated with crescent moons and angelic wings. Crystal grabbed it in awe, and turned to face Ichigo and Masaya.

"Crystal Lunar Healing!" She said, waving the staff over Masaya's leg. Shiny silver sparks flowed from the staff towards the wound, which mended it without pain for Masaya. But the healing sparks didn't stop there. It went ahead and healed everyone scar and injury that Masaya had in his lifetime, leaving his skin unscarred at a newborn baby.

After the healing was complete, the staff reverted back to its original form as Lunar the silver fox. Crystal and the other Mews also de-transformed before Masaya woke up.

Masaya opened his eyes and saw Crystal kneeling over him. He sat up and rubbed his newly repaired leg. "Crysta? You healed me? It was your idea?" Crystal smiled with eyes watering up. "I did it because I loved you. I loved you since I first laid my glittering eyes on you…" Masaya looked up into her eyes with new longing for her. "I love you too. Now please get off me Ichigo." When Ichigo heard Masaya's harsh words, she gasped. "But… But…NO! I love you more Masaya! Why the sudden change of heart!" She started sobbing uncontrollably. Masaya stared at Ichigo and said, "I never really loved you Ichigo. Crysta's the one for me." He suddenly shoved Ichigo off of him and kissed Crystal in a display of affection. Purin came along, and noticed the little romance festival. "Alas na no da! A cornucopia of love na no da!" She hugged Ichigo, and sighed a happy sigh. Ichigo stopped crying because of Purin's hug and thought:

_I'll get that perfect Crystal someday and somehow, and Masaya will love me again…_

"The end na no da!"

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Whoa, sudden relationship change. I know that Masaya is acting OOC, and probably Purin too, but I find it funnier this way. But don't worry! Everyone will be normal again by the end! And this isn't the end, because everyone's not back to normal. Stay tune for more!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew. Neither do I own the various references of stuff that appear in this story. (For chapter two, I ripped off Magical Knights Rayearth, a hint of Gaia Online, and Potter Puppet Pals. If you want to know what the ending is all about, go search that up on Google. And of course, any other rip-offs are pure coincidences, but I'm still interested in hearing them!)**


	3. A what?

Sorry for not updating for an extremely long time. School started and stuff. Don't kill me for it?

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A week or so after Crystal's second fight, and Masaya proclaimed his love for her, Ichigo had almost gotten used to that emptiness in her life. The emptiness being the fact that Masaya doesn't love her anymore.

Apparently, it had affected her so much, that Ichigo had basically become a living zombie. She barely talks at any time, and doesn't even complain when something goes wrong at Café Mew Mew. This, of course, worried everyone, excluding Crystal, Masaya, and Ryou.

"It has to do something with that Crystal." Minto confirmed. Everyone else agreed, seeing it was obvious. "Maybe she did something to Masaya's brain while healing him?" Retasu suggested. She considered approaching Crystal about her healing, but the others quickly shot it down. "The answer is simple, na no da! Crystal brainwashed Masaya into loving her, along with Ryou, Kish, and-" Purin brought her voice down to a whisper for the last words, "-and Taru-Taru." Minto and Retasu glanced at Purin, and shook their heads. "Be reasonable Purin. No one could brainwash a person. Sure, you could probably _hypnotize_ someone, but brainwashing is beyond even Crystal's limits." Minto said. Retasu coughed quietly, and Purin pouted. "Crystal has no limits na no da! She's a perfect freak! A god-modder! A Mary Sue no da!" Purin's outburst of strange insults made everyone stare at here in a strange way. "But… her name isn't Mary Sue…. Is it? Maybe one of her middle names is Mary Sue…" Retasu said thoughtfully. Purin shook her head and showed everyone a thick book. "It's in this book na no da!" Minto took a look at it, and said, "Where did you get it? I didn't know you were such an _avid_ reader Purin." At Minto's comment, Purin scowled and pointed to an empty table. "A customer left it here na no da!"

You all would probably be wondering what the title of the particular book is right now. It's called Everything you need to know about Fanfic writing. It would be useful for all authors or authoress out there, but let's get to the point…

"Fanfic writing? Why would anyone need a guide on fanfic writing?" Minto scoffed. Purin shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know na no da. But look! There's a definition of Mary Sue right here na no da!" This perked everyone's interest, and they peered over Purin's shoulder to read it.

"A Mary Sue (sometimes also known as Mary Su or Sue) is a character with no notable flaws and idealized looks, personality, powers, etc. In other words, a perfect being. Mary Sues are often criticized in a fanfic community, and are mostly greatly despised…"

The definition goes on and on, and when the onlookers finished reading the entry, Minto through her arms up in frustration. "That's very nice and all, but it doesn't say how to get rid of them!" Purin flipped though several pages of the book, and pointed to a passage.

"Mary Sues can only be destroyed by the authors when they feel like it. Otherwise, Mary Sues are indestructible."

"That's just great!" Minto said. "Not only we cannot great rid of Crystal, but we're being controlled by some sort of author!" Retasu and Purin stared at Minto blankly. "Where did you get that idea?" Retasu whispered. Minto stopped her ranting, and sighed. "Never mind about that. I guess we have to figure out some other way to get Crystal out of here."

At that precise moment, Crystal had walked up to the gang and waved hello. "I'm having a sleepover at my mansion tonight. Want to come?" At first, Minto, Retasu, Purin, and Zakuro just gazed at her in awe at the coincidental timing. Minto broke out of her spell and nodded. "Yes, we would _love_ to come. Don't we?" She gave everyone else a secret glare, telling them to accept or else. "Yes. Of course. I could _never_ turn down an invitation from a pretty girl like you!" Crystal didn't catch the sarcasm in Zakuro's voice, and smiled brightly. "Great! I'll see you at 6:00!" She skipped away to do more cleaning, and Minto turned her attention to everyone else again.

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Meanwhile, the aliens are working up their latest plot again. Which won't work, of course. But they just want to keep trying.

"Kish! Won't you just snap out of thinking about that Mew!" Pai shouted at the lovesick alien. Tart was also acting in a similar manner, but in a more mild way. Kish glanced at Pai for a moment, and went back to dreaming of Crystal. Pai frowned at his partners' ignorance and stamped his foot to get their attention. "If you don't pay attention, I'll talk to Deep Blue about it!"

That got Kish and Tart to look up at Pai once. Kish mumbled something about interrupting his dreams, and asked, "What?"

Pai cleared his throat, and pointed to the computer orb thing. It was showing a picture of a large mansion. "This is where that perfect Mew lives. She won't expect us to attack there, and the other Mews won't be able to help her if she's attacked. But I've heard that she is having a sleepover with everyone here. So I had to devise another plan to suit the new condition." He paused for a moment, for any questions. The only sound that occurred was Kish's shuffling. Pai continued again.

"When everyone is sleeping, we'll slip inside their rooms and destroy the Mews! It'll have to be Ichigo and the perfect Mew first, then the rest! It's the perfect strategy!" Pai smiled a rare thing to see. But then again, nothing could make his smile like an evil plan could.

"Uh, Pai? I don't think I'll be coming along on this mission…" Kish muttered. Tart nodded in agreement. Pai stared at both of them wildly. "What! This will be your chance to destroy the Mews! Without them, we can successfully take back what was ours!" Kish ignored his partner's outburst and sighed. "But…. Crystal…. I can't hurt her…. Tart can't either…." By this statement, Pai went from angry to furious. "Who cares about this 'Crystal'! She is only a Mew, a human!" Before he could argue his reason more, Kish knelt down and pretended to be sick. "It's not only that… I got a stomach ache…." Tart, seeing that Kish's excuse would work too, rolled over and pretended to be writhing in pain. Pai calmed down at their distress. "Fine! If you two are so incapable of fighting, then I'll do it! Alone!"

With that, he teleported away.

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Well, there you have it! Not as long as the other two chapters, but hopefully just as good!

I'll spice up the story, and create a mini-contest. There isn't any prize, but bragging rights.

To participate, just answer the following questions, and see if it's right by the time the story ends. (Which won't be long! Beware!)

Will Pai succeed with his plan and kill the Mews?

Will Crystal die?

Will Crystal stay dead?

Ha ha ha. Hope you had fun reading the story.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew. Neither do I own the various references of stuff that appear in this story. (For chapter three, I don't really believe I ripped off anything. But sakuuya pointed out that I ripped off Sailor Moon in attacks and such. Because I'm evil, I'll rip it off more! BWAHAHAHA!)**

And I'm also glad everyone hates Crystal. :D


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